Make Millions From the InterWeb In 3 Easy Steps

No really, this is for real.

I'm sure your mother, in between e-mailing you virus alerts and pictures of piano-playing cats, has brought this little gem to your attention:

I recently watched this video on its YouTube page and noticed that it has garnered over 75 million views. 75 FRIGGIN' MILLION.

I also noticed that the uploader has partnered with YouTube (Google) to place pay-per-impression ads directly on the video.

So if 75 million people have watched Charlie cannibalize his own brethren, let's (very) conservatively estimate that at least 25 million have watched it long enough for an ad to pop up at about 15 seconds in.

If Charlie's mom (or evil captor) gets even $.02 per impression, that equates to $500,000!

Using this data, I have constructed this step-by-step Get-Rich-Quickly scheme that you can try at home:

1. Birth or adopt two British children with a taste for flesh

2. Get about 45 seconds of footage

3. Upload, and start cashing Google-Checks, which I am told are 10 times the size of ordinary checks, and made of rare Indonesian silk.

It's that simple.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have an appointment with Ye Olde Sperm Bank of London.

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Anonymous said...

Where have you been? Dom and I have been fan's of Charlie Bit Me for months!

OUCH Charlie!

PS. I'm working on the babies thing....gotta keep up with the duggars and now with charlie's parents....lots of pressure

Matt Silverman said...

Clearly the Duggars have it down when it comes to Kid Ka$h.

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