As Seen On Craigslist - Vol. 5 - "Guitarist needed for world tour"


Guitarist needed for world tour

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Date: 2009-06-30, 12:19AM EDT

Skilled guitarist wanted for upcoming world tour, will play with the infamous rock trio The Con Queso
No EASY players need apply, we are in the middle of our world tour and can only play on medium or higher
Our previous guitarist was fired due to the fact that he was in an intimate relationship with our bassist and to be quite frank, he was a douche so as a band rule please to not
engage in sexual acts with the rest of the band.
Our band has recently hired a tattoo artist and a Publicist, as you can see we are dedicated as we spend hours in the basement with no food or drink unlocking new gigs which brings us to this world tour with no guitarist. Mant new songs available, only the dedicated need apply as this may take many days in which we will not sleep however natalies mom will bring us coffee and possibly dinner.

  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
  • Compensation: coffee and doughnuts and ROCK

Now, I think you are talking about a video game here because of the dissonance between being "in the middle of a world tour" and "spending hours in the basement with no food or drink."

Yet I am confused because you claim you have hired a tattoo artist and a publicist.

No, wait. A brief Google search reveals that "hiring staff" is part of this stupid game. Google also indicates that you are a bunch of Craigslist tools.

And to think I was planning to show up at your house with my REAL guitar, ready to perform for my usual fee of coffee, doughnuts, and ROCK.

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1 comment:

cbmccullough said...

You could have had the gig because you are not an EASY guitarist. Oh well.

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