Keepin' It Raël

I used to believe in evolution until I woke up this morning to a Twitter notification:

A bit of InterWeb investigation revealed that the Raëlian Movement is a thousands-strong religion with the following tenets:

1. Humans were created on Earth by extra-terrestrial humans using DNA.

2. Ancient Earth-humans mistook their alien creators for gods and misappropriated them to the world's great religions.

3. One of these extra-terrestrials finally revealed himself to French journalist Claude Vorilhon in 1974.

4. The alien was four feet tall with almond-shaped eyes, and "If he were to walk down a street in Japan, he would not even be noticed."

Now, I know what you're thinking: this religion seems as silly as Christianity and those other two.

And their logo, a Swastika inside a Star of David, might be confusing to ANYONE WHO HAS LIVED ON THE EARTH SINCE 1939.

But hear me out.  Raëlism is the real deal.

Forget this evolution hokum - how could a monkey create a human?  They can barely ride a Segway, let alone sequence a double helix.

Doesn't it make sense that alien humans created humans?  I mean, they must already know how the pipes are connected, right?

And of course our ancestors thought these little Japanese aliens were gods.  I make the same mistake all the time with Masi Oka.

Plus, the Raelian Twitter account has 13,000 followers, which is way more than I have.  They must be doing something right.

Still, if your religion is devoted to worshiping a race of super-intelligent creative aliens, perhaps you could swing a better looking website.

I'm just saying.

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Unknown said...

I don't know what part is my favorite - their heinous logo or the fact that these aliens would blend right in in Japan.

Gentlement, I politely ask you what it is you are smoking, and whether you have any to spare.

Mark William Jackson said...

Seems more plausible than alot of the other systems. I'm always open to new religions since Hale Bopp let me down, hard pressed to find a better prophet than JR "Bob" Dobbs though...

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