Noah's Ark Has Been Found (But Not Really)!

The remains of Noah's Ark have been discovered on Mount Ararat in eastern Turkey.

This is great news for extremely stupid people.

The group of Turkish and Chinese evangelical (RED FLAG!) discoverers say they are "99.9 percent" sure that it is indeed the biblical ark, sending a shockwave of snark throughout the Internet.

Their claims are backed by carbon dating, which indicates the remains are roughly 4,800 years old, and that the boat-shaped object has compartments and wooden beams; irrefutable proof that this is indeed a very old object of some kind or another.

It should be noted that while carbon dating techniques indicate the age of the Earth to be millions of years older than biblical timelines permit, that science is bullshit. This carbon dating, however, is the real deal.

In a related story, unicorns are real, and I can lift a car with my tongue.

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1 comment:

onemellina said...

you are very very very funny.

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